you know you have hit your lowest point of being low when you start procrastinating your showers
“who are you wearing” the interviewer asks. “marc jacobs” the celebrity answers. marc has been skinned alive and made into a dress. beautiful.
what time do you need me? i am unavailable whenever that time is
mom please can I have 50,000 dollars and a popsicle
“you’re here to learn” I’m here because it’s the fucking law
IM LAUGHING LIKE A POTATO
when you’re talking to someone in class but only you get in trouble
Can we talk about how unbelievably adorable Winnie the Pooh is? I mean look at him all snuggled up under his blanket for safety!
Why has he got rifle?
to keep away the heffalumps and woozles you moron